


Taako on Board

by paper_moons



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, agere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22064971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper_moons/pseuds/paper_moons
Summary: Taako had been doing a really good job of hiding it, until he wasn't. And (un)fortunately for him, Magnus and Merle wanted to get involved.OrMerle and Magnus find out Taako is teeny and naturally make it their mission to spoil him.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SO I've been trying to write this tazre fic for about a month, scrapped what I originally had, and worked through the writer's block and here we are! Still experiencing a bit of the block, but hopefully posting this first bit will help get me through it. At the very least, I've gotten some of it out of my brain.
> 
> And I apologize beforehand if any of the boys are very OOC, I had a very hard time trying to nail them and did my best.

After the whole racing fiasco with The Raven, returning to their shared dorm at the Bureu for a well deserved rest had been what kept him going. That, and the gold they would be compensated with. Even if it meant he would soon be cramped into their tiny shared dorm, and would have to listen to Merle and Magnus later that night with their dueling snores. But for their most recent success they had been rewarded with more than just the usual payout. They had been gifted with better accommodations. Individual bedrooms for the three of them and no other roommates to bother them. The shotgun style apartment was a major improvement from the claustrophobic dorm room. For starters, they walked into an actual open living space and kitchenette. That alone was enough to sell Taako on the new digs.

And what better way to break in the new place and celebrate their most recent success than with a round or four of drinking? Sure, it had been Merle's idea, but for once it wasn't a terrible one. But Magnus though, *he* made sure there was a terrible idea to be had after a few drinks in.

"Why don't we play a game?"

"Like beer pong? Because my dexterity isn't that high," Merle said, looking a little concerned before finding reassurance in his glass.

Magnus shook his head. "I was thinking like truth or dare actually."

Taako felt it was time for him to contribute to the conversation. "That's a stupid idea."

They ignored him. "Oh, and I could use zone of truth to make sure no one cheats," Merle suggested, eying Taako. So it would seem the dwarf was back on his bullshit after all.

"And that's a really stupid idea. As if I would cheat," he scoffed. Really, what reason would he have to cheat at a game of truth or dare? Though technically he had already lied; he would lie even if the question wasn't a bad one. Taako didn't hardly ever have a reason or cause to lie like he did, so it wasn't as if Merle's concern was unfounded. Still, he was offended by the suggestion.

The three were quiet for a moment as they looked each other over. Merle looked to Magnus to back him up. Magnus looked to Taako, trying to decide if he should push the idea any further. And Taako, well, he looked to Merle, allowing his eyes do the talking to let him know how pissed he was by the implication that the spell was needed.

Against his better judgement, Magnus attempted to smooth things over. "You could do that Merle, as long as it applied to everyone...because I don't know if I trust you not to lie either," he explained, slowly looking between the dwarf and the elf. It was a little clumsy, but it at least broke the silence. "Does that sound fair?"

Taako pursed his lips. He was awfully bored, moreso than he normally should be...he would have to he careful.

"Fine, Merle can cast the spell and we can play. But I'm not going easy on either of you," he smirked. Oh yes, he definitely had some dares in mind tailored for the both of them.

With Taako's acquiescence, Merle cast zone of truth, and the game was on.

***

Truth or dare went about as expected for the first hour or so. They got too much information out of Merle about his sex life and a weird rash that by all accounts he should have been able to treat himself, which had Magnus and Taako reevaluating their healer (and not for the first time). And of course Magnus took every dumbass dare like a champ, accepting them before either Taako or Merle could finish. Meaning they now were down a coffee table, several articles of clothing, and had a potentially sprained ankle to take care of come morning. For his part, Taako had mainly been sticking to picking dare, if only to keep himself from saying something he would regret. Unfortunately, his plan of avoiding any potential embarrassment that came with choosing truth was derailed.

It was Magnus' fault. "Truth or dare, Taako?"

"Like he's gonna pick truth," Merle snorted under his breath. Okay, so maybe it was a group effort.

The comment from the dwarf had irritated him, so he decided he would pick truth just to spite him. "Let's go with truth this time. Ask away, big guy. Anything you want to know, now's your chance."

Magnus appeared to think it over quite seriously and scratched at his sideburns as he thought about it. What was something they didn't know about Taako? He was pretty open about most things, or so it seemed. Suddenly his alcohol addled brain made a connection. If the elf was usually so open, then why did he make such a big deal about playing truth or dare while under the influence (of both the drink and magic). "Why didn't you want to play?" he questioned.

"Because I don't like embarrassing myself," he answered carefully. The compulsion to expand on a not-so-incriminating statement and turn it into a damning one was almost too much to bear; Merle had really outdone himself with his zone of truth spell tonight. He brushed his fingers over his lips, as if willing them to remain closed. 

"Seriously? But that's the whole point! How badly could you embarrass yourself?" Magnus shook his head and huffed a laugh then. "Do you have a big secret or something?"

A little prodding was all it took for the feeble dam to break as the spell took hold and forced his voice to work. Much to his horror, Taako was spilling his biggest secret to them like it was nothing. "Well I regress sometimes. A lot, actually," he admitted. Taako quickly tried to brush it off as soon as he had said it, but found it only made it worse. "It isn't a big deal. That's a lie, it's kind of a big deal. Huge fucking deal actually, but I didn't plan on telling you. What would I have said? 'Hey guys, sometimes I'm three, but you should still take me seriously'? I...you weren't _supposed_ to know," he rambled, unable to stop himself.

The other two just sat for a moment and blinked in surprise at the revelation. 

"...You're three?" Magnus asked incredulously. He was not an expert on elven aging by no means, but even he knew something was off. For the first time that he could remember, Taako was actually blushing.

"On average," came his begrudging response.

Another short silence overtook the room. _Three. Taako was three. Taako was three and they had no idea until that very moment because they were horrible friends._ Obviously he wasn't three all of the time. But who took care of him when he was? A surge of protectiveness flashed through Magnus; shouldn't someone be looking after him? His thoughts must have been apparent on his face, because Taako shot him a petulant glare.

"Don't even think about it," he hissed.

"But—"

"I said don't think about it!"

Taako was done playing this game. He had already said too much, but there was no way he was going to incriminate himself even more. Which was bound to happen with the route Magnus was taking. Sure, he looked like a giant human teddy bear and provided a sense of safety and comfort moreso than the typical person, but Taako refused to acknowledge that. Thinking of how nice it would be to have him as a caregiver would get him nowhere. He didn't need one. He couldn't have one. Forming an attachment like that would be too much of a liability, especially if he became over-attached to Merle as well (which was just as likely if he were being honest, and unfortunately he was). No, he didn't like the uncharacteristic, quiet concern Merle was evaluating him with right now. It was too fatherly. So without further discussing the matter, Taako got up to go dramatically lock himself in his new room.

"You know," Merle started, breaking the tension that had been left when the elf stormed out, "I happen to know a thing or two about age regression. And from what I can tell, it isn't doing him any good to hide it like he is...he needs to let himself breathe a little."

Merle wasn't exactly sure how he knew about age regression. He was almost positive he had known someone who regressed at some point in his life, but was having a hard time thinking of who it was. But he must have, because he knew what their next step should be. They would let Taako settle down for the night, so as to avoid a tantrum, but come morning they were going to the Fantasy Costco to pick up some baby supplies. There was no way he would have the kid suppressing any of this any more. He relayed this to Magnus, who seemed a little surprised Merle knew what to do with this situation. "Oh, don't give me that look. I've been around the block a couple times, Maggie. I know a thing or two..."

***

The next morning they still didn't see Taako emerge from his room. That wasn't too unusual, considering when they had shared a dorm he was typically the last one up. But by noon when he still hadn't come out, well, Merle said it was time for their intervention whether he wanted it or not.

"C'mon, Taako!" Magnus shouted, beating on the heavy bedroom door. "Don't you want to go shopping with me and Merle?"

He waited a moment, only to receive a muffled, "Go to hell!" It would seem the wizard was still a little sore about last night. Shrugging, Magnus turned to Merle and gave him a look that clearly said _you try._

Merle rolled his eyes and approached the door, returning Magnus' look with one of his own. One that said _I've got this_. "Don't you want to come with us? Magnus even said you could spend his share of the gold the Director gave us," he tempted. Really, most of their gold _would_ probably go to Taako this trip; almost all of the things that Merle had on the list were for him.

Extra spending money? Now that did sound enticing. Maybe he had bemoaned his situation enough, Taako thought. After all, they weren't really mentioning it or hinting at it even. There was the small chance that they didn't remember since they had had a few, but he knew that was wishful thinking, and he wasn't that optimistic. No, this little trip and extra gold was their attempt to make nice. He would play along for now, if only to have enough gold to stock and equip their new kitchen to bring it up to the Taako standard. However, that may require more than just his and Magnus' combined gold...

"I want your gold too," he said through the door.

Merle wasn't surprised and merely rolled his eyes once more. "Yeah, sure, you can have mine too. So are you coming or—,"

Before he could finish asking, the bedroom door had already swung open to reveal Taako, who was dressed and ready to go. He wasted no time and didn't even offer them a cursory glance as he brushed past them to exit their apartment. Oh yeah, he was definitely still pissed off about last night.

A beat passed as they watched him leave. Looking down at Merle, Magnus quirked a brow and asked, "...So who's telling him he's gotta ride in the buggy?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the obligatory shopping trip of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone that commented on the last chapter! I know it probably sounds silly, but it really lifted my spirits, as I've been having a bit of a rough time as of late.
> 
> And now that I have my own little setup done(?), I feel like I can move forward to get some (hopefully) cute stuff written. Right now I tentatively have a third part planned for this, but I'm just going to feel it out and see where it takes me. It might become its own thing or just an addition to this, so I make no promises.

With their arrival at the Fantasy Costco, Taako could tell those two were up to something. They kept giving each other furtive looks as if they knew something he didn't, and if there was one thing that he hated it was being left out of the loop. Taako wasn't stupid. Whatever it was, he knew it had something to do with him. His superior Taako intuition told him it had to do with last night, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. After last night's confession as it were, he had been too stressed and angry (mostly at himself) to regress in the privacy of his own room like he had originally planned. Because of this he still felt a little off, not that he planned on showing it.

They hesitated at the entrance, both Magnus and Merle trying to figure out how this would all work out. Their grand plan really had only consisted of getting Taako things he needed and letting him know that they were safe to regress around. There hadn't been much (i.e. _any_ ) discussion on how they would go about doing that without sending their wizard into hysterics. All they knew was that this little excursion was for the Taako that was three, the one that deserved to be himself and not have to hide anything from them.

First things first: getting Taako into a cart so he couldn't run off like he had the previous evening.

"Hey, Taako...remember how last time we went shopping you pushed me in the buggy while you rode on back and we tried to run over people?"

"People mostly being me," Merle interrupted with a small grumble.

Magnus rolled his eyes a little but continued. "Right, well, this time what if you rode in it and I pushed?" 

The suggestion would have been fine at any other time. Any other time and Taako would have readily agreed at the chance to wreak havoc in a shopping cart. The timing however had him suspecting ulterior motives. 

Taako huffed and looked away from them. "I can walk you know."

While they hadn't planned for this hesitance (and they really should have), Merle did have an idea that would hopefully get Taako to go along with it. He pulled out a rectangle of folded paper from his shirt pocket, and unfolded it until it appeared to be a rather long list. "Well, get ready for a lot of walking, because we have a lot of things to get for our new place."

The list was actually just a piece of paper he had meant to write their shopping list on. But it was enough to do the trick, as the elf couldn't see it was blank from where he was standing.

Taako blanched at the idea of having to chase Magnus around the large store as he inevitably got them turned around, or when they inevitably lost Merle somewhere along the way. "Maybe I could ride," he muttered, eying the cart. He needed to be careful with this. Slipping in public was far from ideal, and though he was sure he could hide it, there would still be the problem of continuing to hide it when they got back to their apartment. 

Not waiting for him to change his mind, Magnus easily scooped up Taako and placed him into the cart, much to the elf's surprise. It was a simple action, and yet being handled in such a way—helped in such a way—had him feeling a bit small despite himself.

He needed to maintain some semblance of control and quick. "You may be steering, but _I'm_ doing the navigating. Go that way," he instructed, pointing towards the corner of the store that possessed household items. He faced away from the front of the cart, leaning backwards and tossing up his feet to cross them at his ankles. 

Taako couldn't see the fond smile Magnus gave him. "Whatever you say."

***

Shopping was going suspiciously well for Taako, who had Magnus picking up every item he thought their kitchen would need. Of course that meant he had to give up his more comfortable stretched out lounging position to make room for the other things being placed in the cart with him. With all the items he had surrounding him he knew he must have spent at least half of the gold by now. And, as promised, they had even chased Merle a few times and attempted to run him over. Yes, everything was going too well.

Until Magnus started steering them somewhere else, somewhere Taako hadn't directed them. At first he thought they might be headed to look at some new gear, only they completely bypassed that section. So not any gear then. Merle decided to place something else in the cart with him, something that made him physically recoil. By all accounts it shouldn't have, as it was only a simple stuffie. But he knew.

They _hadn't_ forgotten about last night after all. 

Taako pouted up at him as he clutched a large box that boasted twenty pieces of essential cast iron cookware, his limbs wrapping around it in a manner reminiscent of the void fish's tentacles. "We don't need anything else," he insisted. There was a slight change in the timbre of his voice, a noticeable uptick in the pitch. Though he could not help that even if he wanted to (and he certainly wanted to make it quit before it got any worse). Pointing desperately to the other side of the store, he tried to take back some control and have Magnus push them to where he wanted. "Go pay. Now."

Merle sighed. Magnus was supposed to have been keeping him occupied so that they could start slipping in some things for little Taako. Maybe he should have taken the job to distract Taako and let Magnus pick out all the baby things instead. Sure he was a dad, and he could pick out all the fun stuff, but he had never truly been...involved. Distracting the kids, playing with them, that came naturally. But picking out all the practical stuff that they would need? That was harder. And this was a little different anyways; this was for _Taako_.

"We can't pay yet, bud. We still have a couple things to get," Magnus soothed. "Besides, I think we do need it. Don't you think it's cute?"

Was it cute? He had been so offended by the implications that he failed to give the toy much thought. With a scowl he released his hold on his cookware set and snatched up the stuffie to give it a more thorough once over. Taako turned it over in his hands several times. It was really cute, and so soft, he thought, squishing his fingers into the body of the stuffed mongoose. He would be lying if he said he didn't want it. But...

" _We_ need it?" he asked quietly. 

Magnus leaned against the cart and chuckled. "Well duh, just look at it! It's adorable." He paused for a moment, looking Taako over. Somehow, he could tell he was slipping. Magnus had nothing to base this on but he knew. Giving a put upon sigh, he continued, "But, we are shopping with _your_ gold, since Merle gave you ours and all...do you think you could get this for us?"

Well, as long as it was for them, and not just for him... Taako finally relented with a small nod. They could buy the stuffie. It was certainly more cuddly than the hard box he had been clinging to.

A wide grin spread across Magnus' face. "Cool! Think you can hold onto it for us until we're done shopping?"

Taako gave another nod, this one a little more enthusiastic as he tentatively hugged the mongoose to his chest. 

Huh, so maybe he could distract the kid after all. Or at the very least placate him.

"Since when do you speak Taako?" Merle muttered, moving to pick out a package of sippy cups.

Magnus shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, for about twenty minutes now." Really, most of this felt natural to him. It was as if he had been caring for him for awhile, though realistically he knew that wasn't the case. The whole thing was giving him the strongest sense of déjà vu. Must have just been all the adventuring they had done together since Phandalin. Shaking his head, he took the pack of cups from Merle to exchange them for another. "You know he likes purple more than blue. We need purple ones, right Taako?"

"Purple is better," he hummed slowly, not looking up from fiddling with his, no, their stuffed toy. He missed the way Magnus smirked smugly down at Merle, and the middle finger Merle gave him in return.The rest of their shopping continued much in the same way, with Merle or Magnus suggesting they needed something and asking Taako if they could get it. They had definitely turned it into a little competition of who could pick out more stuff the baby would like. And surprisingly enough, Taako was allowing them to pick out quite a few things they hadn't expected him to (and even more that he had pretended not to see them slip in). So long as it was for _them_ it was fine. Because deep down, Taako didn't want to do this alone any longer. 

Somehow, this was quickly becoming something that felt natural for the three of them.


End file.
